


Whatever Souls Are Made Of, Ours Are The Same

by fairyplumprincess



Series: The Rise Of The King [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Background Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Background Morality | Patton Sanders, Chronic Pain, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED PUTTING OTHERS FIRST: SELFISHNESS VS SELFLESSNESS REDUX, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders-centric, Deceit Sanders-centric, Good Deceit Sanders, Heathers References, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Incest, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, M/M, Men Crying, Multi, Past Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Pre-Creativity Split (Sanders Sides), Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Romantic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Selfcest, Sleepovers, Smoking, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Spoilers, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Twincest, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, coping fic, it gets weird but you have to let it go there, may be read as platonic or romantic, post-episode: Putting Others First, remrom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyplumprincess/pseuds/fairyplumprincess
Summary: Post Deceit and Remus's argument. Featuring:-Apology to Roman!-Creativtwins sleepover!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: The Rise Of The King [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732288
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106





	Whatever Souls Are Made Of, Ours Are The Same

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so I found out that my results may take up to a week to get back to me instead of 48 hours, so I wrote this after crying for like 3 hours because I want you all to cry too.  
> For those of you who were asking for a second part, y'all won: this is now a series (read the ACTUAL first part, "Brotherly Love" for context because this shot may not make sense if you don't)  
> (I don't know why this part got labeled as "Part 1" but lol what can you do)  
> If I'm missing any tags, please lmk so I can add them! (Or just comment cause ya feel like it, I like human interaction!)

After a warm, welcome hug and “of course!”, Janus was set to stay the night. But, he had decided that before the night went any further, a discussion with Roman needed to be set into place.

Everything in himself was suddenly screaming at him to stop Roman from going over to Remus, that he should go back to his boyfriend tonight, tense air be damned.  _ Where the fuck did  _ **_that_ ** _ come from? _

Roman’s door opened before Janus could knock, the royal’s face still puffy and laced with discontent, but not entirely unneutral.

“I wanted to talk.” Janus stated, wringing his hands behind his back.  _ What do I even have to say? _

Roman’s hazel eyes looked a bit unfocused as he looked behind the snake’s shoulder, but shrugged and met the mismatched ones again. “About?”

Janus looked at his feet, not feeling nearly as confident as he had when he kissed the postcard. “Roman, not everything I say is a lie. Despite this fact, I have definitely lied far too often to you for you to even consider that an option. That is the first of my many, many woes that I need to correct with you. I am sorry.”

“What’s my favorite song?”

“What?” Janus looked up at Roman’s face, who looked mentally somewhere else, “Your favorite song?”

“Yes, that is what I asked you, is it not?” Roman blinked, seemingly coming back to himself for a second, before his eyes fixated somewhere through the yellow side.

“Well, I don’t know what that would be, we don’t spend a lot of time together,” Janus wracked his brain for any indication of Roman’s favorite song.  _ Someday My Prince Will Come? Our Love Is God? Seasons Of Love? Let It Go? Incomplete? Broadway, Here I Come? Aaron Burr, Sir? _ “Is it  _ I Wouldn’t Mind _ by He Is We?”

“What makes you say that?” Roman’s voice was flat, face suddenly cold and neutral; as if he wasn’t trying to give Janus any indication that his guess was correct.

“It’s your brother’s favorite, he insists on us duetting it together in the kitchen while we bake cookies at some ungodly hour. That, and  _ Disney Princess _ by Lewberger.” Janus feigned confidence as he spoke, hoping his reasoning would prove whatever Roman wanted. “I suppose you do the same with Virgil?”

“Virgil doesn’t sing.”

“Well, that’s true. A part of me hoped that he might for his boyfriend, but he never sang when he dated Remus either. Guess he’s just not a singer at all! Which is hysterical, considering we are Thomas’s sides.” Janus tried joking, but all of it died in his throat when Roman met his eyes.

“You got it right, just so you know. I just wanted to see if my brother and I are just as similar as I fear we may be. As you claim we are.” Roman held back his frown, but the sadness filled his eyes anyhow.

“It was a hurtful, cheap jab. I know you thought I was lying about my name, though I’m not sure I understand why. Names-”

“-are sacred!” Roman exclaimed, the most emotion leaking into his voice for the first time since he sunk down from their previous interaction, “Almost everything you’ve ever said to me has been some fabrication,  _ especially _ the good things - why would I ever expect you to hold yourself to the standard of not lying about your name?!”

“You shouldn’t, you’re right.” Janus held his hands up in defense, “I should have expected that. I was too caught up in the moment of sharing one of my greatest insecurities and being laughed at, that I hadn’t considered the idea that you thought so low of me that I would disrespect  _ a name _ , one of the most precious and sacred pieces of our beings, as bait for some sort of scheme.”

“It’s a beautiful name.” Roman admitted, hand moving to his door frame to hold his weight.

Janus didn’t sense a lie, which confused the deceitful side. “You said it sounded like a middle school librarian’s name?”

“Did you not catch my delay in reaction? I knew you meant the  _ Roman _ god of choices and duality, and while I took the compliment to heart, that quickly turned sour like every other compliment I’ve received from you.” Roman’s chest started tightening, anger welling up and the mere fact that he hadn’t prepared himself for standing still for so long beginning to make his aches worsen.

“It’s not like I chose my name, friendo,” Janus let a small smile creep across his face as he studied Roman, “but, since I know you thought I was lying, I want you to know that you still  _ are _ Thomas’s hero, and Patton meant it when he said-”

“Alright, alright!” Roman cut Janus off, a slight wince that was quickly covered by the red side turning his face away erupting as he shot his hand out. “Well, I must pack to go see my brother for the night, and I assume you won’t be joining us.”

“Roman, are you in pain?” Janus couldn’t help the question from rolling off his tongue before he clapped his own hand over his mouth, before pulling it off with his other. “I’m mean, I’m sorry. That was incredibly rude. I just - are you okay?”

Roman didn’t answer, shooting a questioning look before slamming his door in the snake’s face.

Janus took his frown and turned around, seeing a floor-to-ceiling mirror suddenly behind him, definitely wide enough for Roman to see it while Janus stood in front of him.

The ideas connected in the Dark Sides’s mind before he thought better of spending too much time on the idea. Patton’s cookies were definitely cool enough now to eat, and Janus wanted to know if they tasted different semi-fresh from the oven compared to stealing them from the fridge while the Light Sides slept.

_ ~ _

With face masks freshly applied and popcorn still hot, two brothers plopped themselves down in front of the TV to watch the original 80’s  _ Heathers _ featuring Winona Ryder together.

As much as he adored the musical and the movie, and the fact that Thomas had gotten to play the male lead on Orlando Broadway, Roman couldn’t seem to focus on the movie itself - but rather on his favorite person, just to his right.

“You’re missing all the good parts. I’ll pause so you can take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Remus sounded flat as he didn’t take his eyes off the screen.

“I didn’t look at you?” Roman questioned, not believing he’d looked away from the screen either.

“Brother, you’re thinking loud enough that they’re my thoughts too,” The duke turned towards the prince, hazel meeting hazel, “I would say penny for your thoughts, but-”

“I have an idea.” Roman blurted out, not wanting to hold back from Remus any longer.

Shooting an annoyed glance to his favorite brother, Remus held up a hand that read  _ go on. _

“Are you in pain?”

“This conversation is going in many different directions and I literally don’t know what to reply.”

“Since the split. After ‘me’ became ‘we’, have you been in pain?” Roman’s eyes were begging for validation, praying for understanding, pleading for-

“Yes. I sometimes go into the imagination for acupuncture and I summon oxycodone from time to time,” Remus admitted, pausing the movie, “unlike someone else who runs out into the imagination to throw himself in more danger to raise his threshold for pain and to give everyone a reasonable excuse as to why he’s in pain.”

“That never happened before, though.” Roman mumbled, unsure if he should stop himself from continuing and accept the fact that someone understood his pain and stop trying to push farther.

“Before? You mean, back when we were Romulus?” Remus had only dared to dream of Roman wanting to be a part of him again, and he couldn’t believe that someone else shared his dream - the _one_ person who needed to share his dream _did._ Right?

“Exactly!” Roman jumped up, shot of pain went ignored save for a hitch of breath and a pause, grabbing onto Remus’s shoulders. “Before we were ripped and picked apart, before a king was turned into ruined sons, before they decided we couldn’t be a three-dimensional and Patton split us apart and-”

“Calm down,” Remus grabbed Roman’s waist, pulling him flush against him, “Breathe.”

“I don’t mean to speak down on Patton, he was only doing what he thought was right, and he’s learning better now, but...what was done to us…” Roman whimpered out, hands clutching Remus’s gray tee, immersing himself with the stench of fresh cigarette smoke.

_ Huh, _ Roman thought,  _ the King loved his cigars - but I didn’t take that trait with me. Did Patton take note of ‘smoking is bad’ and erase that from the little prince he  _ _ destroyed  _ _ built? _

“Was wrong,” Remus finished, rubbing soothing circles into his brother’s back, “And we didn’t deserve it, any of it. What’s brought all of this on?”

“Well, since Patton isn’t all black-and-white, this whole idea of ‘right versus wrong’ is far more gray than he had originally considered, and I can tell that Thomas is slowly bringing himself to the idea of accepting Deceit-” Roman cut himself off when he felt Remus’s nails unconsciously big into his side.

Remus pulled back, looking into his brother’s eyes, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Roman slowly nodded, “If you’d like.”

“I need words, brother.”

“No one understand me quite like you, Remus - but that is because we are one and the same. ‘Soulmate’ is a pitiful title that others have that holds the closest idea to what we have. Whatever souls are made of, ours are the same.”

“We are one soul, yes. We are more than mere brothers, but those weren’t the words I’m looking for, Roman.”

“I, Prince Roman Light-Creativity Sanders, would like to go through the fusion process, so we can one day call ourself King Romulus Creativity Sanders.”

Both sets of hazel eyes brimmed over with tears as  the twins the two halves of a whole latched onto each other, breathing in cigarette smoke and s’mores.

Burning red-bright but also wisping black.

“I, Duke Remus Dark-Creativity Sanders, shall weld our jagged edges until the sculpture we once were will no longer be a shattered memory, but the King Romulus Creativity Sanders that Thomas deserves.”

After what may have minutes or hours, one of the brothers spoke up, though it didn’t matter who.

“I have felt so lost and broken since I left me, I’m glad I found myself again.”

“But what about the lovers? Would they take to myself as I hope they would?”

“If they loved me, they’d want me to be happy. How would they feel if they knew how broken I have reduced my mind to be, how much physical pain I faced for the sake of worthless emotional pain? If Janus loves me, if Virgil loves me; they’ll understand.”

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> lmao I always have a "Right?" in my stories (especially the endings) because I apparently believe in cliffhangers and don't know how to show characters questioning themselves/the world around them in a brief manner besides that lol


End file.
